One of my best friends, who I have known forever, just had a baby. The other day, we were taking a walk, and while she pushed her adorable infant in the stroller she expressed her frustration with losing the post-partum weight. She immediately began putting herself down and commenting on how awful she looked. On how her stomach would never go back to the way it was before. That she felt fat and doughy. She also felt stressed about the balance of dieting to losing the weight, but making sure she was eating enough to continue breast feeding. I stopped her halfway through the conversation and told her how incredible she looks. That to me, she looks absolutely better than before she had the baby!
Whether you just had a baby, or not- why is it that as women we immediately go to the negative head space, and don’t congratulate ourselves on what we have DONE, instead of what we HAVE NOT? All she could see was the changes she didn’t like, not that she had just carried a baby for nine months, given birth, and was nurturing this child while only getting four hours of sleep a night.
Connection Between Stress and Our Self Reflection:
I started thinking about how as women we have so much on our plates. Managing the everyday balance between work, family, and still taking time to nurture our own souls. Stress and pressure can cause some warped reflections when we look in the mirror. The result of this is having a negative self-image, and only focusing on the things we don’t like about ourselves. Even writing this, it is easy for me to be reflective, but if I’m honest…I completely focus on the negative parts of myself too.
There is a lot to be said about having a tribe, a squad, a ride or die. No matter what you call it... these people can be special lights in our life when we are surrounded by nothing but our own darkness.
But not all of us are fortunate to have a person who builds us up when we feel small. Often, relationships between women can be toxic, superficial, and even competitive. I would guess that at some point we all have had a friend who puts us down to lessen their own insecurities. This is absolutely the worst kind of relationship, and in order to be the best version of ourselves we need to take a step back and ask ourselves if our friendships are healthy. So what can we do feel empowered and confident?
Ring in the Positivity:
Brittany is the camera, heart, and soul behind Haute View Boudoir in Chattanooga, TN. Her mission is to empower women to feel confident and beautiful in their own skin.